Greetings from Snap the Horse

Well its been a while since the cats let me out to blog. Luckily for them I like cats. I wanted to come and tell you all about my adventure. Daily life for me is an adventure keeping all of my fellow mares in line (I'm the lead mare) but yesterday was different. So I've been taking advantage of owned by this woman for 3 years now and I'm 6 years old. In those 3 years this was my 3rd time off of the farm. I of course was a super star. Would you expect any less? Please, I am the diva to end all diva equines.

I had just had my nice breakfast when that girl put me outside to go herd the unruly mares. I was munching on what little grass we have when I saw my slave walking towards me. Odd....she usually is a lazy human and shouldn't be here for 3-4 more hours. Oh well, she might have an apple so I wandered over. She did in fact have an apple which I devoured WHOLE. I was sure to spray her with juice and slobber. She brushed my fine coat and put me in my stall while she went and got another horse. Whatever, except.....HEY!!! You forgot I don't have any HAY!!!!! So I yelled a bit until she complied. After she spent 30 minutes on the filthy BEAST of a horse we call Lump ('cause he's pretty much dazed all of the time) she brought me out and put on my second halter. Uh-oh.....as predicted that meant TRAILER.

Now, I was a racehorse. I ran fast, I trained hard, I've been there, done that, and seen it all. Trailers are no big deal to me. So being the saint I am I walked right on. Hmm...nice hay, snacks for the road are very important. After a squillion miles on the road we stopped. Lump unloaded himself (show off) while I had two attendants to make sure my dainty hooves were fine. Walked off the trailer and here's where it could have gone 2 ways 1- SCREAM, TAIL UP AND FREAK OUT or 2- munch on some grass. I chose option 2, it was just tasty looking grass.

So the slave woman (who remember has had me off the farm 3 times in 3 years and never showed much before me) had to tack me up by herself with no help and with my brand spanking new saddle, used one day, straight from the UK. I should mention that my pampered princess self required a VERY expensive custom saddle. It cost over 3 times as much as I did. I was good to the woman, she's kind of cool and always trusts me when the Boogy Man jumps out of the woods. She got me all ready and then we went in a grass ring.

Now I started to get a tiny bit prancy but I had my Lump with me and as long as I had my nose shoved up his tail all was good. Then I noticed.....IT. This giant horse-beast with FEATHERS!! I'm telling you, she had feathers on her legs (she was an ex-budweiser clydsdale who is actually pregnant!). I wasn't so sure about her hanging with us but she was cool. Off we went!!!

We started trotting fairly quickly and that made me a little more settled. There were other horses GALLOPING up behind us and I was pretty sure that was the end of the world for us for a bit. Again, I just trusted Lump's tail (which he did almost poop on my nose 3 times!!!). There were gun shots for a while which I didn't like either and as we were going along.....HOLY *&^(*&^%(&^%(!!!!! That is a JUMP, you've got to be kidding me. No way no how woman. Uh-uh. Luckily she didn't push the matter...yet. We picked up a "canter" which I like to do slowly. The two horse-beasts with me have much bigger strides than I do so I had to go into racehorse mode to keep up. This I liked. No, I LOVED it. I squealed and bucked and had a great time!!!

Into the woods we went where there were more jumps FUN!!! I like this!!! Galloping around corners and cornstalks, up hills, over jumps, through streams. It was awesome. Then the slave decided she was a bit nervous on a downhill gallop and help me back. I told her!! Buck, sideways gallop, curl my head. She made the others stop for us. The woman on Lump was my Feeder Woman and she told the slave just to let me stay up Lump's tail so she did. As soon as I was with everyone I was MUCH happier.

It was exhausting! There were so many big fun jumps but by the end I was ready to go home. We got untacked and waited around a bit. Suddenly there were carrots!!! Yeah!! And then the Woman from the horse-beast-with-feathers came over and handed my slave a Red Ribbon. My slave started crying. She was so happy. We won second place! Its my first ribbon ever and the slaves first ribbon with me. We don't ever go to shows so this is a big deal. This wasn't a show, it was a Hunter Pace which means there was an ideal time set and we almost hit it by 5 minutes. You don't know what the time is until you're done. We missed first by 2 minutes.

What an exhausting day but FUN!! I hope we all get to do it again. I love going new places. And for a 6 year old mare with so little official training, I even was told by the Feeder Woman who has seen thousands of horses, I was a GREAT buy for the slave. Here I am!! See my nose up Lump's butt??? He's 18 and I'm 6.